Kiss Kiss Matsvodi Chete and More

Published on

Kiss Kiss Matsvodi Chete
Amazing ideas


You have billions of ideas that you come up with each day. (Okay maybe they are less than a billion but you get the point.) Some ideas are good, and some are proven to be bad. Today I’m going to talk about two lovely ideas I had for Valentines day.

Idea #1: Kiss Kiss Matsvodi Chete

In a previous blogpost, I mentioned how I would find at least 5 people selling African super Juju that would “Bring your Ex lover back.” In the streets of Harare – the capital of my dear country, Zimbabwe. I found these claims to be ridiculous and thought the guys selling the stuff were crazy dudes. After thinking about this issue, I then realized how clever these guys were. They knew a fundamental truth about the strange animals called human beings – we are emotional creatures. The strongest emotion out there is love. Clever businessmen. I thought of becoming a love guru but figured nobody would listen to me about that. Besides what do I know about this complex topic?

That didn’t stop me from thinking about a crazy idea which involves using love.

The Shower

I always get great ideas when I’m either daydreaming or in the shower. On this particular day, I was having a lovely day dreaming session and this idea hit me. The most searched word on google is “How to kiss.” Most people want to get their exes back with dignity, and people have a weird fascination with African magic (every great movie has a black witchdoctor of some sort). Mixing all these ideas together gave me the most awesome book title I’ve ever come up with:

Idea #1: Kiss Kiss Matsvodi Chete: Tips and tricks to get everlasting relationships

On the cover of the book, I would throw in the words “African Juju Inside” and “Learn how to get your ex back with dignity.” I would then launch this book on valentines day.

This was an excellent idea. I could already see myself swimming in a pool of 100 dollar bills and having an endless supply of high quality headphones and yoghurt.

Except for one thing. I had no idea what I was going to write. 

Idea not #1

As mentioned above, emotions are super powerful. After doing consultations with a few people, I realized that some people really don’t believe in love. Once you mention the word love to such people, they will be ready to take a shotgun and blast you out of existence. I thought it would be incredibly wise to make a book which would cater for these people. I would give it the provocative title “F**k Love! Let’s Make Money”

So this would mean that I would have two books – one for those who are in love and the other for those who hate love.

Genius idea right?

I am a genius!

Well, not exactly. Here’s why:

#1. My brethren would all get heart attacks after seeing this provocative book title.

#2. Zimbabweans are incredibly traditional and the maputiatota brand would forever be associated with derogatory words.

#3. Zimbabweans don’t really like buying books so the risk associated with writing a book with such a provocative title would potentially bring a very little reward.

#4. I intended to have several people promote my book. I figured that all the influencers with a brain wouldn’t want to be associated with it.

So What Did I Do?

Good question. Since I had nothing to write, idea #1 just died. What a pity. Idea #2 was implemented and I managed to finish the book in 2 days. Since the title was so provocative, I decided to change it.

It’s now called "Screw Love! Let’s Make Money." I mentioned it a few weeks ago, but i've brought it up today just in case you missed it.

This book is going for 9 dollars on Amazon. But wait.....

Since you are a long time reader, I’ve decided to allow you to download it again for free. This offer is valid for 3 days only so hit that download link ASAP.


See you next week Wednesday!

Psst! Still here? Well then, head over to twitter @maputiatota and follow me! Why? Because I asked nicely : )