My Super Great Business Ideas 

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My super amazing business ideas that failed

We all want to make money. Ask any five year old what he wants to do when he becomes an adult and he will tell you “I wanna be rich!” and then they will go on and explain how much candy and lollipops they will buy. Kids.

Well after going through this thing called adulthood, you come to realise that you can’t become rich by just sitting down and expecting a magical genie to give you a million dollars. (Wouldn’t that be awesome though?)

In order for you to make money, you need to come up with ideas and hope that someone will be willing to buy the product that comes from that idea.

I am someone who is full of crazy ideas and on this day it was just like any other. I was having my moment of inspiration, and I thought to myself… how can I make a million dollars? 

I had read about a crazy guy who bought a website and sold 1 million pixels to 1 million different people and companies. And just like that, he made a million dollars. Another guy took rocks, put them in nice card board boxes and sold them as “pet rocks.” He made a million dollars just like that.

Right now, artists are making a killing by selling pieces of art (i.e. glorified Microsoft Paint drawings) for millions of dollars apiece through cryptocurrency and non fungible tokens (don’t ask me what that is. I was too lazy to understand it all. It’s the concept that just intrigued me)

Excited by how people make money from nothing, I decided to create a nice business name for myself. Yep its crazy. Creating a business name without a product in mind.

Zama Zama

One of the business lecturers we had would always mention “Zama Zama enterprises” as an example when trying to explain business concepts. I found that name to be funny and… it hit me. That name would be perfect for my business! People love crazy names and Zama Zama Enterprises would be perfect.

I did a bit of research because I wanted to eventually buy the domain name. I discovered that there actually is a company called Zama Zama Enterprises.

I had spent 10 minutes of my mind being foolish, busy trying to create a name for a business with no product in mind. I couldn’t stop now. I had to find a good name. So the adventure continued.

Here is a random picture of a beautiful cow.

Isn’t she pretty?

Now, time to get back to the story.

Wapusa Wapusa!

That was the next idea in line. Just the name reminded me of a church workshop I once went to which had secular musicians bastardizing Christian songs, jumping up and down on stage. I found everything about that event to be morally questionable, and after doing a bit of research, I discovered that this definitely wasn’t going to be the best name for my future product-less business.

Nakadhula-Dhaka Enterprises

You see, the way it works in Africa is that if you have a business , it's name just has to have 1 of the following:

“YOUR SURNAME GOES HERE,”

(which is why my E-book & Web design agency is called Charakupa Designs)

“investments,” e.g. Takeshure Takarigamombe Investments

OR

“enterprises” 

Nakadhula-Dhaka was a word I found on social media and I had no idea what it meant. I guessed that it came from the Shona word “naka” which means to “taste nice.” I found this name to be a winner and felt that my search had come to a conclusion.

I then found out that the name “Nakadhula-Dhaka” was the name of one of the tracks from the late Zimbabwean singer, “Soulja Luv”

I didn’t want to be seen to wanna use the guy’s unfortunate departure to the afterlife to try to promote my business so I dropped that name.

And just like that, my million-dollar business with no product came to a crashing end. Don’t worry, I’ll think of something else!

That’s it! see you next week Wednesday!!!

Psst! Yes, I’m talking to YOU!

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